The subject pretty must explains it all. When I was growing up, I always felt strangely out of place with my classmates. Not by any means superior (unlike most indigos, it seems, I have something of an inferiority complex, probably from years of being teased for who I am) but just different. My teachers always said sometimes I talked like I was 100 year old guru. One teacher spent a week "researching" me in bookstores trying to find out what kind of kid I was. (She stumbled upon the book 'The Edison Trait'-interesting reading, just another way to say indigo in my opinion) What I'm getting at is, I feel like everyone here has that same kind of lonliness. I often feel like I'm away from home. When I get really stressed out or sad or angry I'll just whisper to myself "I want to go home" even when I'm at home. I don't know why I do this. In any case, I feel like it should be something our tribe should be able to talk about. Being different probably had reprecussions growing up and even now. So feel free to share your thoughts and feelings and stories, I'd love to hear them.
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Tue, May 20, 2008 - 8:44 AMI know exactly what you mean. I posted here recently about the same thing and it's a very overwhelming feeling. I've met very few of us which is a shame it really is. There is a big sense that you don't belong here, even with your own immediate family (who I love to death, I think I was really blessed by having th parents I did), but still things don't seem right. Things have seem to of gotten worse as of lately, this disconnected feeling. I went out camping last night after a four mile hike with just me and my dog, because anyone I got with just well doesn't cut it. I have the superior problem, always have. I will always thinks my ideas, my morals, my ideals are right over others. My mom says I need to listen more to other people, but some of these things, are just so simple they make perfect sense. The best thing we can do is at least talk about it, on here with Tribe. Cause at least here, in thought, we're not alone. Hello Natalie, welcome to my world, our world :)
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Tue, May 20, 2008 - 9:13 AMI had that problem a lot from about 2nd grade (when trauma made me flip from crystal to indigo) to 12th grade. Now that I'm in college and with more like-minded people, I feel old and alone with more people, so it's not quite so bad, though I still get told that I feel old or like a mom a lot.
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Tue, May 20, 2008 - 10:43 AMYou wander through the mist and come across a group of children playing. "Join us!" some say, others don't seem to notice you, as if you are a very part of the mist. It's expansive and silent, occasionally washing over you like the tide and forcing you to gush with a unity like the sea, and you, very quietly reply to those who notice, "For a little while." You watch them play, wondering if they notice it too? They are very much a part of it. In bored, in restlessness, in question, or perhaps in silence, you wander in deeper into the woods.
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Tue, May 20, 2008 - 12:55 PMI've always felt this way. But I too have the inferiority complex because of labels other people gave to me and I embraced. I was always "mature" for my age. My parents said it was because I was trying to be as smart as my brother, yeah they weren't lightworkers but I love them with all my heart nontheless. I've never had more than a few close friends. I have some associates that are fun to be around, but they and I are just too different for me to feel close to them. Those friends that were close, still are, no matter how long we go with out speaking to each other. Once we do, we pick up exactly where we left off. And now I know they are Indigo children also, whether they are aware of it or not.
There is only one place I've found so far that makes me feel "at home". Unfortunately it is a yearly event. But it's where I'm surrounded by "my people". It's where I finally feel like myself. I get to play, and laugh, and dance. It's where I am truly happy. I think this is why I've moved so many times in my adult life. I have also spoken the words "I just want to go home" while sitting on my couch in my living room. It's my house, but it's not home. It's gut wrenching (I've got a lump in my throat now just writing this), being homesick, but not being able to go there. -
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Tue, May 20, 2008 - 2:13 PMRealize your abilities and potential, don't compare them to anyone else, just learn them and use them.
Set your intentions once you realize what it is you want, and keep the intent.
I think it's roughly a choice if you want to feel good or not, alone or connected.
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Tue, May 20, 2008 - 3:46 PMSometimes I feel that so many of us are searching for ways to define ourselves and give ourselves purpose, and while I do fall into that trap more than not, there's always a part of me that is content to simply "be" and not "be for" something or other. It's this that often makes me feel alone, and the silence and boundless states that inspire me I do not know how to express to others, at times... -
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Tue, May 20, 2008 - 4:08 PMIndeed, shaman.
Me, I think the biggest thing is that everyone wants to put their karmic burdens on other people, always, and unconsciously (because one can become accustomed to, or trained to do so). And to sample that consciousness that steals energy and spits poison and understand its mind pattern can be about one of the most depressing things in life. The amount of growth and rewiring of energy gaining techniques needed is such a huge process. People generally just want to get external energy, because they are programmed to do so and are so drained and don't believe in themselves. And because of this a huge battle emerges for the "indigos".
Then what do you do? Do you try to help people understand the multi-dimensionality, and improvements that can be made of themselves? Or do you just try to be the best person you can be, and try to feel good all of the time, and be a good example for people?
It is my belief that people can consciously "wake up" at any time, and one can never totally "trick" or "fool" the soul into complete imprisonment.
Once a glimpse of total freedom or peace is seen, then that can help drive someone out of the haze.
So, trying to teach people these "special" things about reality seems to only works if they have been exposed. It is completely useless otherwise, and will drain your energy.
And because of that, I think the only way to go about this huge change is for people like us to just keep our intent on the goal, and live in peace and harmony and try to feel good. Be the example of how you want the world. See it how it can be, in all of its glory. If someone is interested in learning to let go and be free, by all means help them! You cant "do it" for them, but you can show them the door.
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Thu, May 22, 2008 - 12:35 PMMy jaw dropped open when I read this. For so long I've felt out of place, like this isn't my home. I too often find myself saying "I want to go home" out loud when im stressed or overwhelmed. It is some what comforting to know other people feel this way.
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Thu, May 22, 2008 - 3:30 PMI KNOW this is not my home. I've been to my home, and it's not here. However, I AM HERE. And I believe I am here for a reason. I believe I am here to be a part of the process that will prevent the earth from no longer being home to Trillions of beings--of which, only a few are human.
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Re: Feeling Old, Feeling Alone
Sat, May 24, 2008 - 1:31 PMyep i have always felt alone even though i have the ability to make almost anybody like me. i always knew the answer to questions i was an c student just because i didnt feel like it was worth my time to do it. So ur not the only one who felt alone. when i get generate anger to people so even if i dont talk or any thing they will get angry to. i think most of us didnt really know who we r until we got older i myself relized only about 6 or 7 months ago so im just kind of getting used to the fact why i feel like this so i think we all have a story kind of like this .
